I have been sick now for about 11 days now. The longest and most painful cold I can remember. I went through the can't get out of bed except for going to the bathroom stage. Then get up and take a very short walk phase, change my mind about that and do a load of dishes for my movement for the day, but mostly Steve waiting on me hand and foot. I got so sick of TV but yet reading was too hard to do for very long periods of time. Talking to people on the phone was exhausting also. So in other words lots of time to think. But even that was hard until the last few days. I did go to the chiropractor and the massage therapist, those helped also, but here I am still too sick to do normal things. I am getting better slowly.
So I have been pondering and have come to several conclusions. First in the Lorenzo Snow manual for this weeks lesson, (thankfully the Lord has given me the ability to read scriptures most days)"
"Chapter 11: “I Seek Not Mine Own Will, but the Will of the Father
When we seek God’s will, we follow a course in which there will be no failure.There is a course that men and women may pursue wherein there will be no failure. Whatever disappointments may arise or seeming failures may result, there will be in reality no failure, as a general thing."
To truly appreciate that statement you need to read the whole chapter, but you get the gist. If we are striving to live the commandments, there will be no mistakes. Things that appear to be mistakes will actually turn out for our good. I loved that.
So it made me think about my sickness. I have been running at a pace that has been far too great for my age and capabilities. I started to get headaches and memory lost that became quite scarey to Steve and I. So I went in for an MRI and everything was fine. While waiting for the MRI and the results I did a lot of thinking about my life. I had already chosen to quit being a WW leader, but there were other things this year that screamed things are not right. I don't think hardly a soul got a Birthday present on time. I don't blog on a regular basis and get behind on reading others blogs My life has slowly but surely become one of run here run there, collapse watch TV, then run some more. Then add to that feeling guilty about all the things I wasn't getting done, the moving of two houses, non-stop visits away as well as at our house. The Lord finally said OK ENOUGH!!! I am sick really sick. I realized I need to slow down and enjoy life.
I was sitting here thinking today(missing church for the second week in a row) that I needed a break from life, and this is the only way Heavenly Father could do that. I was reading the word of wisdom lesson coming up in a few weeks in Sunday school and it said we are not supposed to work to exhaustion. I thought that was interesting. The scriptures teach we should not run faster than we have strength. Be diligent, but not to the point of exhaustion. I thought about how many times I do that. When we are exhausted, Satan has more power to tempt us.
Today as I was pondering on all of this (you can tell I am sick because this is so unorganized! Hope you get the message!) and I realized something simple and yet profound. I need to quit worrying about doing the right thing, just pray and ask the Holy Ghost to help me know what is most important that day and it will all work out. I know that sounds simple and not that easy, but it brought me comfort. The scriptures teach "ask and it shall be given to you" If we truly believe that, Heavenly Father will come through for us. We just have to believe He cares. Well, I am starting to reach my limit with my lovely sickness. I am going to try to learn from this experience. love you all!!